I thought about Facebook "Friends"...

So I was on Facebook recently and puffed my chest out at my growing number of "friends" on Facebook. You know what I am talking about, especially those of you with 50 or more "friends" on Facebook. It makes us feel good to know that we have so, so many "friends."

But I began to seriously think about what a friend really is, and what the concept of friendship means to me. To me, a friend is someone who I can rely on to be there to return my phone call or one that we check in with each other on a regular basis. Sometimes this might be consistent or inconsistent, but nevertheless we stay in touch. And no, looking at your "friends" status updates doesn't count. I might give you points for actually responding to their updates, but just looking at them doesn't count as keeping in touch.  Regarding friendship, I believe it goes deeper than looking at one another through an electronic medium.

So I am making an official request to the founders of Facebook. Please Mr. Hughes, Mr. Zuckerberg, and Mr. Moskovitz would you consider changing the title of Facebook Friends to Facebook "Contacts?" I think that is much more appropriate. And for those of you with over hundreds of "friends" on Facebook (especially those of you with thousands of friends) can you honestly say that you have never thought about this yourself? To be honest, I know I have. That is why I have just spent 30 minutes out of my day writing this s***.

And then...

 

Someone addressed me as "Friend"

Now if there is something that confuses me more than most anything else on a normal day, it's when someone that I hardly know or that rarely sees or talks to me says, "Hi friend!" Okay, WTF? I hear this and then I just stand there and wonder what the hell just happened. I mean, doesn't the concept of "friend" or the understanding of "friend" mean that there has to be time where people hang out together and actually get to know one another? Or is this term just thrown about like a rag doll or a rope chew toy for a dog? I wonder if the word "friend" is just used to give the deliverer a false sense of doing the right thing or the feeling of being someone who accepts others.

I think that an early age we are setting our kids up for false expectations when we say to a group of small children, "Now cooperate with our friends" or "Say good morning to all of our friends." Really? Is that the reality of the world that everyone is friends with one another? Or, is the reality that we actually don't get along with everyone who comes across our path? I would have to take an educated guess, from living life, and say that not everyone is my "friend." Nor, am I everyone's "friend." Therefore, I will not walk up to someone who I do not talk to on a regular basis or even ever hang out with and say "Hi friend!" As I force a fake smile. Rather, I would prefer to just say "Hi Bob," or "Hi Jane."

So I think it is more realistic and responsible that we teach our kids that they will not get along with everyone. This is life. This is the reality of the world we live in today. I am not saying that I wouldn't strive for a world where people and nations don't get along, but even still, getting along doesn't mean that we are necessarily "friends." I could get along with my co-workers, but we don't have to be "friends."

With that said, I just want to ask one thing of you Mr. or Mrs. Stranger or Acquaintance. Please do not call me "Friend" if we do not talk on the phone or see each other in person from time to time and actually share quality time and/or conversation. Just say "Hi Eric." Addressing me by my first name is perfectly fine. That will not irritate, frustrate, or irk me.

And then...

Frustration Set In...

When I was talking with my friend Jody the other day, we were standing outside when I noticed a woman (err young lady) walking by. Looking straight ahead with a face of non-emotion, I initially thought "How rude!" But upon further examination, which it was not difficult to notice, there were the atypical bright white wires coming down from her ear canals. Yes, she was listening to something. Maybe it was music, or a podcast, or a recorded lecture. Who knows what she was listening to, but I immediately told Jody how that really annoys the hell out of me.

I remember the days when I was at college for my undergraduate work and when students would go from class to class, it was really nice to say "hello" or "hi" to other human beings. But what is disturbing is the isolation which is being created in our society and right here in Austin, Texas. I support my claim of the creation of isolation amongst people in public settings when I go to local coffee shops. I challenge you to observe this phenomenon as well next time you are drinking your $6 cup of coffee. You will see people with white or black wires dangling from their ear canals in addition to their laptop computers sitting in front of them acting as a "leave me alone" barrier. But the best way to tell someone, "Don't talk to me" or "I want to be alone" are the good old earbuds or headphones for those of you who are not so tech savvy.

After I was done talking with Jody, I was driving in my car and counted 25 people in the span of a 45 second car ride who had headphones in as they were walking. Wow! I was amazed while at the same time frustrated that technology is beginning to isolate us in our local community. It's really easy to stay "connected" via Facebook, Skype, IM, texting, etc. but what in the hell ever happened to actually talking to someone in person or over the phone. I mean come on people!

And then...